40 Things I learned by 40…and I think you should know…

Hi guys! WOW! It has been a minute since I last did a blog post. I have been so focused on my podcast, “Tales from A Butterfly” that I let the blog fall off a little…BUT I’m back! 🙂 And I have “come back” if you will at a significant time for me…I started this blog post right after my 39th birthday last year…and as of April 4th, 2017, I am now 40! So much has happened before 40, including the blog and the podcast, that I am SUPER excited to see what is going to happen from here on out. Because I believe it will ONLY get better!

40 is a pretty big number and there are so many things that I have learned in life, about myself, so many times that I had denied myself THE RIGHT to live and enjoy the things that I had learned about myself, just so I wouldn’t offend other people. But I have truly decided to live my life ON PURPOSE and not according to someone else’s purpose, no matter how big or small. I decided to embrace the things that I have learned about myself, and to let you guys in on some too. Some are pretty simple and some are pretty complex, but they all make up who I am. So here we go…

1-To say no, just because I don’t want to go. Because sometimes, I just don’t feel like it. There is no rhyme or reason and I don’t owe anyone an explanation.
2-When people want to remind me of what I “used” to do, with a negative connotation…I need to let them know that I am no longer there. And would no longer take that trip with them. If they want to remain in the past…that is there business…not mine.
3-To take the support that I am offered, even if it is not in the way that I expected or wanted. People will text and call me to tell me that they are proud of me for starting the podcast and blog and have yet to listen to an episode, read a blog post or subscribe to either one. I need to take the support I am given and be ok with that from those people.
4-I am allowed to redefine my relationship with someone who has betrayed me, lied on me or is simply not being a friend to me. Being Christ like means I forgive the person, that does not mean that I have to put myself in the same situation. GOD created Adam and gave him dominion over everything. And Adam lived in paradise, in the Garden of Eden, naked and unashamed before GOD. However, as soon as he betrayed GOD by eating the forbidden fruit, although GOD still loved him, he had to put him out of the Garden, causing them to never walk the same together again.
5-When in a relationship with people, whether husband or friends, I need to give what the other person needs, not what I need, because it may not be the same thing.
6-I will share my life story with you, and don’t mind being transparent, but I DO NOT want to share a bathroom with you when getting ready to go out, whether it be my husband or friends.
7-It is OK to not like surprises, (most times I do not), however it is NOT OK for me to ruin it for the person that is trying to give me the surprise.
8-Being a Christian and serving God does not mean that I no longer have a voice. As a matter of fact, it means that not only do I have a voice but I have a responsibility to speak the truth, no matter who it offends.
9-I expect my children to conduct themselves and to control themselves when they are confronted with ignorance. For instance, if their teacher said something to them out of the way, I always tell them they need to text or call me immediately and I will handle it. What they are not to do is to go off because they need to learn self-control. Even, at times, with friends. So how in the world can I, as a 40-year-old woman, allow myself to get out of control when someone approaches me with ignorance? And then I want to justify cursing someone out or throwing things or having an attitude based on the excuse “GOD is not through with me.” But if my children tried to use the same excuse to justify certain behaviors, I would not except that. (Proverbs 25 vs.28 reads “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”)
10-If I am not getting something positive from the people I am around, I need to rethink who I am around… because those around you, influence you…
11-I am learning to freely accept love from others and not feel pressure because of the love I get from others.
12-I have more than adapted to the text message society. The phone ringing seems almost aggressive. But I wish I hadn’t…
13-The Golden Rule never goes out of style…Do unto others…
14-My kids don’t have to be the best at everything… just the best at being them.
15-It is ok to treat myself…as long as it is a real treat.
16-I use a mouse with my computer…and I am ok with that. I don’t like the laptop pad thingy…
17-Time is not my enemy…so I decided to make it my advocate and my friend by learning to use it wisely.
18-When I go to a restaurant, there is no need to announce to the table, “I shouldn’t be eating this cause of my work out or my diet….and it annoys me when others do it…either eat it…or shut up…
19-Sometimes I cry when I am happy and sometimes I cry when I am sad. Crying can be a physical relief to me at times.
20-I don’t owe anyone an explanation on my parenting.
21-In terms of my hair, I may not stay natural…and that’s OK… there is no right or wrong. People need to stop bullying other people for getting a perm or going natural. PERIOD!

Ok! WHEW! Those are just some of the things I learned about myself…and have come to accept about me. I’ll give you the other 19…in my next blog post!

 I hope this has encouraged you to learn some things about yourself and to accept yourself and love yourself for who you are, and if changes need to be made, make them for YOU… to be a better YOU… and no one else!
Love you guys! And don’t be afraid to take flight! Just trust your wings and fly on Butterflies…

2 thoughts on “40 Things I learned by 40…and I think you should know…

  1. JoJo says:

    As usual, I love your perspective on things and your truth. It’s nice to see someone live and be unapologetic for what they feel, say or do. Keep being you and sharing it with all of us.

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